Pirates: "We never kill people. We are Muslims. We are marines, coastguards -- not pirates."

They "never kill people," because they "are Muslims." However, they do "threaten to shoot or beat them." Welcome to the Orwellian world of jihadspeak.

NAIROBI (Reuters) - Your best source is jailed. You track high-sea hijacks by text and email. You get through to captors on a satellite phone but are then roundly abused....

Reuters reporters in Somalia were able to contact Phillips' captors -- on their fuel-less, floating lifeboat stalked by U.S. warships -- at the start of the standoff. They issued various defiant messages to the world in barked conversations.

Having then been informed, however, that their remarks were making instant headlines on TV networks across the world, the pirate gang became less cooperative.

"We are tired of your calls. We have no time for journalists," is a polite translation of some of the last quotes our team managed to extract from the pirates.

"If you bother us again, we will order someone in Mogadishu to meet you," a gang member added before the line went dead.

Often, though, the pirates are friendly and helpful, though they detest use of the p-word. "We never kill people. We are Muslims. We are marines, coastguards -- not pirates," one said.

Hostages say the pirates are normally as friendly as they can be under the circumstances. While they threaten to shoot or beat them if they do not cooperate, they also roast goat for their captives and pass phones around for calls home....

Muslims have been pirates on both land and sea since Old Mo made up the koran, the terrorist training manual.